I know you've all been anxiously waiting for an update from Sabi, but this is the reality of starting a business - all the interesting stuff, you can't really blog about. And all the uninteresting stuff? Well there hasn't been an uninteresting day since I've gotten to Boulder.
But I did stumble upon an important lesson today, and although this is not strictly a "letter" to Oprah, it's something I learned from Sabi and I thought I'd share.
Change starts with me.
Although our official slogan is "Do what you do.", over the course of my time working with this start-up, I've adopted this motto as my own. Sitting here and looking back over the month that I've been in Boulder, it's undeniable that Sabi has made unbelievable progress. It still rocks my world every time I realize that the first location, our first location, is so close to being a done deal. But thinking about what I actually did today for Sabi, what I did yesterday, and the day before that for that matter, I honestly don't think I've achieved all that much. It's not that I spend my time staring at the wall. Actually, I sometimes do after a long day of work. But the point is the long day of work. The bottom line is that it's absolutely surreal that the press release I'm writing matters. Negotiating leases matter. Finding investors matter. Working on the financials matter. Shaan, Trev, and Dan have that covered. So how is it that I'm not just dragging the team down with my uselessness?
At night I dream about Sabi Sushi. I imagine that walking into our restaurant would compel the same amount of wonderment as Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory might. Or Dr. Parnassus' Imaginarium. Operations will run as smoothly as one of Rube Goldberg's machines. In my dream I'm so proud of that, for being a part of that. When I wake up I have to confront the nightmare that things might not work out. More than that, I confront the idea that things might not work out because of me. This is not a battle easily won.
One of the main hesitations that Sabi had when deliberating the pros and cons of inviting another person on to the team was whether I'd be able to handle the many "mini-crises" that come with risking everything for an idea. They're right. I'm an optimist, but I don't tend to believe that things will work out, I insist on it. Language hasn't evolved to describe what I am, but "fanatic" comes close. I'm hardwired to respond to problems by refusing to see them. Ignorance is bliss, and if I can't see them, they can't find me. I'm a drama queen, especially when something unpleasant shatters my bliss. And because that doesn't happen often (my ability to filter is really something quite amazing)... Let's just say I don't handle the problem in the most graceful way possible.
The previous paragraph makes me sound like a maniac. But there's one important difference between a maniac and me. I have the ability to change. Habits die hard, but rather than be fanatical about everything in my life being perfect, I focus that energy in refusing to let bad news stop me from putting one foot in front of the other. I maintain a cheery outlook in the face of adversity. I use my drama to fuel my creativity. And while the effect this has on my life isn't instantaneous, I feel the change in myself immediately. And by drawing the focus inward, I stop obsessing about what everyone else is doing.
Everyday I wake up, I remember change starts with me, and I remember that what everyone else is doing can't stop me from continuing to make positive change in my life. And so, the helplessness of the nightmare subsides and I restore my sense of control over what happens to me, to my relationships, and to Sabi. My press release matters because it matters so much to me that I'm going to do an amazing job of writing it. And while they might be working on projects that yield immediate results, I'm working on building the foundation for the future. Everything matters, and change starts with me.
And to make this post less like a long-winded personal revelation, a short letter to Oprah:
Dear Oprah,
As a friend so kindly decided to rub in my face the other day (with this article), I know I'm not even on your radar yet. But I'm not disappointed. Because disappointment signals that I've given up. I'm not done trying.
Sincerely,
Isabelle
Do what you do.
